You must forgive me. Don't look so surprised, by Helen Dunmore — Analysis & Translation

Original Poem

You must forgive me. Don't look so surprised, perplexed , and eager to be gone balancing on your hands or on the tightrope You would rather run than walk, rather climb than run rather leap from a height than anything. I have spoiled this body we once shared. Look at the scars, and watch the way I move, careful of a bad back or a bruised foot. Do you remember how, three minutes after waking we'd jump straight out of the ground floor window into the summer morning That dream we had, no doubt it's as fresh in your mind as the white paper to write it on. We made a start, but something else came up - a baby vole, or a bag of sherbet lemons - and besides that summer of ambition created an ice-lolly factory, a wasp trap and a den by a cesspit I'd like to say we could be friends but the truth is we have nothing in common beyond a few shared years. I won't keep you then. Time to pick rosehips for tuppence a pound, time to hide down scared lanes from men in cars after girl-children or to lunge out over the water on the rope that swings from that tree long buried in housing - But no, I shan't cloud your morning. God knows I have fears enough for us both - I leave you in an ecstasy of concentration slowly peeling a ripe scab from your knee to taste it on your tongue.

Translation (English)

Please forgive me. Don't be so shocked, confused, and eager to leave. Balancing on your hands or on the tightrope. You prefer to run instead of walk, to climb instead of run, and to jump from heights more than anything else. I have damaged this body we once shared. Look at the scars, and notice how I move, careful because of a bad back or a bruised foot. Do you remember how, just after waking up, we'd jump out of the ground floor window into the summer morning? That dream we had, it's probably as clear in your mind as the blank page to write it on. We started, but something else distracted us - a baby vole, or a bag of sherbet lemons - and besides, that ambitious summer created an ice-lolly factory, a wasp trap, and a hideout by a cesspit. I'd like to say we could be friends, but honestly, we have nothing in common except a few shared years. I won't hold you back then. It's time to pick rosehips for a small price, time to hide down frightened lanes from men in cars chasing young girls. Or to swing out over the water on the rope hanging from that tree now covered by houses - But no, I won't ruin your morning. God knows I have enough fears for both of us - I leave you deeply focused, slowly peeling a scab from your knee to taste it on your tongue.

About the Poet

Helen Dunmore (Contemporary)

Helen Dunmore was a British poet, novelist, and short story writer known for her novels and poetry. She won several prestigious awards, including the Orange Prize for Fiction and the Costa Book Award.

Historical Context

Literary Form: Free verse
When Written: Published in the 21st century
Background: The poem reflects on the passage of time and the relationship between one's past and present self, exploring themes of nostalgia, regret, and acceptance.

Sources: https://poemanalysis.com/helen-dunmore/to-my-nine-year-old-self/, https://www.gradesaver.com/to-my-nine-year-old-self/study-guide/quotes, https://www.litcharts.com/poetry/helen-dunmore/to-my-nine-year-old-self, https://genius.com/Helen-dunmore-to-my-nine-year-old-self-annotated, https://wymcolenglishblog.home.blog/2022/04/11/to-my-nine-year-old-self/

Detailed Explanation

In 'To My Nine-Year-Old Self,' Helen Dunmore addresses her younger self, reflecting on the innocence and fearlessness of childhood compared to the cautiousness and regrets of adulthood. The poem begins with an apology, suggesting a sense of guilt or responsibility for the changes time has wrought. The speaker contrasts the adventurous spirit of her younger self, who preferred running, climbing, and leaping, with her current carefulness due to physical limitations. Memories of carefree summer mornings and unfinished dreams highlight the passage of time and lost opportunities. The poem acknowledges the distance between past and present selves, recognizing that they share little beyond memories. Dunmore's use of vivid imagery, such as 'balancing on your hands' and 'peeling a ripe scab,' evokes the tactile and visceral experiences of childhood. The poem's tone is both nostalgic and melancholic, capturing the bittersweet nature of growing up and the inevitable changes it brings.

Themes

Literary Devices

Word Dictionary

Word	Meaning	Translation	Transliteration
perplexed	confused	unable to understand something clearly	per-pleksd
tightrope	a rope stretched tight	a tightly stretched rope or wire for acrobatics	tahyt-rohp
scar	mark from a wound	a mark left on the skin after an injury heals	skahr
ambition	strong desire to achieve	wanting to achieve something	am-bish-uhn
cesspit	pit for waste	a pit for the disposal of liquid waste and sewage	ses-pit
rosehips	fruit of a rose plant	the fruit of the rose plant, often used in herbal teas	rohz-hips
tuppence	two pennies	an old British coin worth two pennies	tuhp-uhns
lunge	sudden forward movement	a sudden forward thrust of the body	luhnj
ecstasy	intense joy	an overwhelming feeling of great happiness	ek-stuh-see
concentration	focus	the action of focusing one's attention	kon-suhn-trey-shuhn
scab	crust on a wound	a crust that forms over a wound during healing	skab