When I hit thirty, he brought me a cake, by Patience Agbabi — Analysis & Translation

Original Poem

When I hit thirty, he brought me a cake, three layers of icing, home-made, a candle for each stone in weight. The icing was white but the letters were pink, they said, eat me. And I ate, did what I was told. Didn’t even taste it. Then he asked me to get up and walk round the bed so he could watch my broad belly wobble, hips judder like a juggernaut. The bigger the better, he’d say, I like big girls, soft girls, girls I can burrow inside with multiple chins, masses of cellulite. I was his Jacuzzi. But he was my cook, my only pleasure the rush of fast food, his pleasure, to watch me swell like forbidden fruit. His breadfruit. His desert island after shipwreck. Or a beached whale on a king-size bed craving a wave. I was a tidal wave of flesh too fat to leave, too fat to buy a pint of full-fat milk, too fat to use fat as an emotional shield, too fat to be called chubby, cuddly, big-built. The day I hit thirty-nine, I allowed him to stroke my globe of a cheek. His flesh, my flesh flowed. He said, Open wide, poured olive oil down my throat. Soon you’ll be forty… he whispered, and how could I not roll over on top. I rolled and he drowned in my flesh. I drowned his dying sentence out. I left him there for six hours that felt like a week. His mouth slightly open, his eyes bulging with greed. There was nothing else left in the house to eat.

Translation (English)

When I turned thirty, he gave me a cake, with three layers of homemade icing, and a candle for each stone of my weight. The icing was white but the letters were pink, they said, eat me. And I ate it, doing what I was told, without tasting it. Then he asked me to walk around the bed so he could watch my big belly wobble, and my hips shake like a huge truck. He'd say, the bigger the better, I like big girls, soft girls, girls I can get lost in with many chins and lots of cellulite. I was his Jacuzzi. But he was my cook, my only joy was the rush of fast food, his joy was watching me grow like forbidden fruit. His breadfruit. His desert island after a shipwreck. Or a beached whale on a large bed wanting a wave. I was a wave of flesh so fat I couldn't leave, too fat to buy milk, too fat to use my fat as a shield, too fat to be called chubby or cuddly. When I turned thirty-nine, I let him touch my round cheek. Our flesh flowed together. He said, Open wide, and poured olive oil down my throat. Soon you’ll be forty… he whispered, and how could I not roll over on him. I rolled and he drowned in my flesh. I drowned out his last words. I left him there for six hours that felt like a week. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes bulging with greed. There was nothing else left in the house to eat.

About the Poet

Patience Agbabi (Contemporary)

Patience Agbabi is a British poet known for her emphasis on the spoken word and formal poetic constraints. Her work often explores themes of racial and gender identity, and she is celebrated for her ability to blend literature and performance.

Historical Context

Literary Form: Free verse
When Written: Published in 2013
Background: The poem explores themes of body image, control, and consumption, reflecting on societal pressures and personal relationships. It uses the metaphor of eating and being consumed to discuss issues of identity and self-worth.

Sources: https://poemanalysis.com/patience-agbabi/eat-me/, https://www.best-poems.net/patience-agbabi/eat-me.html, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patience_Agbabi

Detailed Explanation

The poem 'Eat Me' by Patience Agbabi explores themes of power, control, and body image through the metaphor of consumption. The speaker describes a relationship where her partner encourages her to gain weight, symbolizing control and objectification. The cake, with its layers and candles, represents both celebration and oppression, as the speaker follows her partner's commands without question. The imagery of the body as a 'tidal wave of flesh' and 'beached whale' highlights the physical and emotional weight of the relationship. The poem culminates in a moment of rebellion, where the speaker's physicality overwhelms her partner, symbolizing a shift in power. The poem uses vivid imagery and metaphor to critique societal norms around body image and the dynamics of control within relationships.

Themes

Literary Devices

Word Dictionary

Word	Meaning	Translation	Transliteration
judder	shake	shake	jud-der
juggernaut	unstoppable force	unstoppable force	jug-ger-naut
burrow	dig	dig	bur-row
cellulite	dimpled skin	dimpled skin	cel-lu-lite
Jacuzzi	hot tub	hot tub	Ja-cuz-zi
breadfruit	tropical fruit	tropical fruit	bread-fruit
desert island	isolated island	isolated island	des-ert is-land
beached whale	stranded whale	stranded whale	beached whale
craving	desire	desire	crav-ing
globe	sphere	sphere	globe
bulging	swelling	swelling	bulg-ing
greed	selfishness	selfishness	greed