When I hit thirty, he brought me a cake, by Patience Agbabi — Analysis & Translation

Original Poem

When I hit thirty, he brought me a cake, three layers of icing, home-made, a candle for each stone in weight. The icing was white but the letters were pink, they said, eat me. And I ate, did what I was told. Didn’t even taste it. Then he asked me to get up and walk round the bed so he could watch my broad belly wobble, hips judder like a juggernaut. The bigger the better, he’d say, I like big girls, soft girls, girls I can burrow inside with multiple chins, masses of cellulite. I was his Jacuzzi. But he was my cook, my only pleasure the rush of fast food, his pleasure, to watch me swell like forbidden fruit. His breadfruit. His desert island after shipwreck. Or a beached whale on a king-size bed craving a wave. I was a tidal wave of flesh too fat to leave, too fat to buy a pint of full-fat milk, too fat to use fat as an emotional shield, too fat to be called chubby, cuddly, big-built. The day I hit thirty-nine, I allowed him to stroke my globe of a cheek. His flesh, my flesh flowed. He said, Open wide, poured olive oil down my throat. Soon you’ll be forty… he whispered, and how could I not roll over on top. I rolled and he drowned in my flesh. I drowned his dying sentence out. I left him there for six hours that felt like a week. His mouth slightly open, his eyes bulging with greed. There was nothing else left in the house to eat.

Translation (English)

When I turned thirty, he gave me a cake, with three layers of icing, homemade, a candle for each stone of my weight. The icing was white but the letters were pink, they said, eat me. And I ate it, did as I was told. Didn't even taste it. Then he asked me to stand up and walk around the bed so he could watch my big belly shake, hips move like a big truck. The bigger the better, he'd say, I like big girls, soft girls, girls I can get lost in with many chins, lots of cellulite. I was his hot tub. But he was my cook, my only joy the thrill of fast food, his joy, to see me grow like forbidden fruit. His breadfruit. His deserted island after shipwreck. Or a stranded whale on a large bed wanting a wave. I was a wave of flesh too fat to leave, too fat to buy a pint of full-fat milk, too fat to use fat as a defense, too fat to be called chubby, cuddly, big-built. The day I turned thirty-nine, I let him touch my round cheek. His flesh, my flesh mixed. He said, Open wide, poured olive oil down my throat. Soon you'll be forty… he whispered, and how could I not roll over on top. I rolled and he drowned in my flesh. I drowned out his last words. I left him there for six hours that felt like a week. His mouth slightly open, his eyes bulging with greed. There was nothing else left in the house to eat.

About the Poet

Patience Agbabi (Contemporary)

Patience Agbabi is a British poet known for her innovative and performance-oriented poetry. Her work often explores themes of identity, race, and gender. Agbabi's poetry is characterized by its rhythmic and musical qualities, reflecting her background in performance poetry.

Historical Context

Literary Form: Free verse
When Written: Published in 2008
Background: The poem 'Eat Me' by Patience Agbabi explores themes of consumption, control, and identity, reflecting on societal and personal issues related to body image and power dynamics in relationships.

Sources: https://poemanalysis.com/patience-agbabi/eat-me/, https://www.litcharts.com/poetry/patience-agbabi/eat-me

Detailed Explanation

The poem 'Eat Me' by Patience Agbabi is a powerful exploration of themes related to body image, control, and identity. The speaker describes a relationship where her partner encourages her to gain weight, symbolized by the cake with candles representing her weight rather than her age. The imagery of her body being compared to a juggernaut and a beached whale highlights the physicality and the societal perceptions of her size. The partner's fetishization of her size is juxtaposed with her own sense of entrapment and loss of identity. The poem culminates in a moment of rebellion and empowerment as the speaker metaphorically 'drowns' her partner, symbolizing her breaking free from his control. The poem uses vivid imagery and metaphor to convey the complex dynamics of power and self-perception, ultimately critiquing societal standards and the objectification of women's bodies.

Themes

Literary Devices

Word Dictionary

Word	Meaning	Translation	Transliteration
judder	shake	to shake or vibrate violently	juh-der
juggernaut	unstoppable force	a huge, powerful, and overwhelming force	juh-ger-nawt
cellulite	dimpled skin	dimpled flesh on the body, often on thighs and buttocks	sel-yuh-lite
Jacuzzi	hot tub	a brand of hot tub with jets of water	juh-koo-zee
breadfruit	a type of fruit	a large, round fruit with a starchy texture	bred-froot
desert island	isolated island	an uninhabited and remote island	dez-ert eye-land
beached whale	stranded whale	a whale that is stranded on land	beechd wayl
tidal wave	large wave	a large wave caused by tidal forces	tie-dl wayv
globe	round object	a spherical object	glohb
bulging	swelling	protruding or swelling outward	buhl-jing